Just a thought that keeps coming back to me.......

Strange.... some times i hate the expectation people have of me .. and some times that is what keeps me going...

I feel if there was no one who needs me i would lose my self worth. So does that mean my worth is limited to how much people need me ? That can not be true !

and no matter how hard I try to convince my self that it is I who needs me the most and I am worth as much as I think I am it does not seem to help.

what is it after all.....

- Is it what people think of me ?
- Is it what i think of my self ?
- Is it what or how much i have achieved ?

....is it not a combination of events ......people .......moments around me.. and if that is what life is meant of....than that should define the worth of life and hence individuals ....... right ?

How many years have you lived ?

I saw a movie few days back.. I cant stop thinking about something that was said in that movie....

" How many years have you lived ? ...30 ( fo me) and how many days or moments in those 30 years can you remember... remember a feeling of pleasure.. a feeling of accomplishment.... of having made it.... 10...15....20....30....think...... how many can you recollect....

so if in in 30 years of life all you can actually look back and cherish is 30 days.. don't worry if you dont have too much time left because if you start making every day count you would have lived 30 more years in just 30 days......"

It set me thinking on how i can make every day count...

PS# This post was drafted on 25th Dec 2005..... wonder what kept me from publishing it :)

Ayn Rand.....from a stroy in "The early Ayn Rand"

Don't love somebody beyond limits and consciousness....Try to have always some other goal or aim..dont love beyond your very soul....If you can.... I CAN NOT !

intehan....the limit....

Sach hai ki zinda hai teri muhabat mein sanam......
Lekin....
Mere sabr ka itna imtehan na le ki muskura ke mar jayen hum...

Meaning...

It is true that i am alive in your love...
But...
Dont test my patience so much that I welcome death with a smile....

Hindi version....

Mein ye soch ke uske dar se utha tha....Ke wo rok legi..mana legi mujhko...
ke angan mein lehrata aya tha daman...ke daman pakar ke bhitha legi mujhko...
Kadam aise andaz mein uth rahe the.... ke awaz deke bula legi mujhko.....
Magar usne roka na mujhko bithaya... na awaz hi di...na wapas bulaya...
Mein aahista aahista chalta hi aaya....
Yahan tak ki usse...juda ho gaya mein...
Yahan tak ki usse...juda ho gaya mein...

Meaning...

I walked off on her thinking (hoping) she will stop me...even let my scarf fly so that she will hold it... every step i hoped she may call my name...

But.....

she did not stop me ... she did not hold the scarf... she did not call my name.. and slowly and slowly... i walked so far that i am seperated from her now....