Numb..... It is a strange emotion I am realizing !

Things that would have shattered me in the past brush me briefly and pass by. Things that would excite me beyond limits, only give me the rush of blood for a split second.

I ask my self...

- are you sad ?
- are you hurt ?
- are you disappointed ?
- are you happy ?
- are you glad ?

The answer I get shocks me.... " I Don’t Care !"

The fact that I do get shocked means I am not totally numb, but jokes apart --- I don’t think it is a very good state to be in.

But again the same answer comes and hits me head on ---- I REALLY DONT CARE!

If I Don't......WHO WILL?

Dilemma..?????

Some times i wonder what is tougher to hold on or to move on.....

Some thing i read a few days back cought my attention and ignited a series of thoughts...It read ---- " I cried today, not because i wanted you or even missed you, but because i finally realised i will be OK without you".

There are times when i feel that to let go of the pain would mean letting go of the last hope that things may change. I am so scared of my own ability to bounce back from almost every situation...scared that life will become just fine ... scared because some where deep inside I do not want life to be the same ever again...

...but the truth is IT WILL BE !